Chapter 11

Veronica was able to relax a little over the next couple days. Much to her relief, neither Jon or any of the other guys commented or referred to what had happened at the bar, and Jon had stopped pushing her to talk about the past. Unfortunately, she still couldn’t avoid thinking about it. The songs wouldn’t let her. As Richie started the intro to the next one, she tried to brace herself for what she would hear. When Jon started to sing, she closed her eyes and her jaw clenched.

A long slow drive down an old dirt road
You got your hand out the window listening to the radio
That’s where I want to be
On and old park bench in the middle of December
Cold hard rain falling can’t find no cover
That would be all right with me

Hard days, good times
Blue skies, dark nights
Baby, I want you to take me
Wherever you’re going to
Maybe say that you’ll save me
A seat next to you

In the corner booth of a downtown bar
With your head on my shoulder
Smoking on a cheap cigar
That would be all right with me

In the back row of a movie
Or a cross-town train
I want to hear your voice
Whispering my name
That’s where I want to be

Hard days, good times
Blue skies, dark nights
Baby, say that you’ll take me
Wherever you’re going to
Maybe say that you’ll save me
A seat next to you

Life is like a Ferris wheel spinning around
When you get to the top it’s hard to look down
Just hang on
We’ll make it through
Save me
A seat next to you

When you get to the gates
And all the angels sing
Go to that place
Where the church bells ring and know I’ll come running
Running to find you
Baby, say that you’ll take me
Wherever you’re going to
And baby, I want you to save me
A seat next to you
A seat next to you
A seat next to you
A seat next to you


Oh God! Every scenario he described, they’d done together. The drive down dirt roads in Jersey, the park bench in December in the rain in Brussels, the corner booth in a downtown bar in London,.... all of it. Glancing up she saw him watching her intently. She looked away.

By the time they got the track to a point where everyone was satisfied and recorded it, she was struggling to keep it together. Only her professionalism and her determination not to let him destroy her reputation with her co-workers and the Nashville music scene in general kept her from running out the door and not coming back. But the next song proved to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. After almost two solid weeks of being bombarded by memories – and nightmares - of both the best and worst times of her life, in addition to a lack of sleep, she couldn’t take it anymore.


Hello again, it’s you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin’ wine, killin’ time
Trying to solve life’s mysteries

How’s your life? It’s been awhile
God it’s good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave

If you don’t know if you should stay
If you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just breathe
There’s no where else tonight we should be
You want to make a memory

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had
It’s bittersweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringing I don’t want to ask

If you go now I’ll understand
If you stay, hey I got a plan
You want to make a memory
You want to steal a piece of time
You can sing the melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You want to make a memory

If you don’t know if you should stay
And you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just breathe
There’s no where else tonight we should be
We should be
You want to make a memory
You want to steal a piece of time
You can sing the melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You want to make a memory
You want to make a memory


Unable to hold back her emotions any longer she fled the room. In the hallway she leaned against the wall, wrapped her arms around her middle and fought to bring the tears rolling down her face under control.

Jon had been watching her while he sang and saw the moment when she broke. He shot out the door after her before anyone could stop him. The sight of her tears and obvious torment, made his heart ache. “Nica?”

She stiffened and held her hands up in a defensive gesture. “Don’t! Leave me alone!”

“Let me in! Nica please!” She just shook her head. “Nica!”

“That’s not my name!” She tried to glare at him.

He stepped closer and reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and trail his fingers along her jaw. “It used to be. You were always my Nica.”

She flinched away from his touch and the memories his personal nickname for her uttered in that soft voice conjured up. She shivered. Anger came to her rescue. She slapped his hand away. “Don’t! Dammit Jon! Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone! Haven’t you hurt me enough? Do you get some sort of sadist thrill out of causing me pain? I was doing just fine without you. Why did you have to come back?” Sobs took her voice.

“Nica, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“STOP IT! Don’t you get it? I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to be anywhere near you! So, let’s finish the damn album and you can go back to Dorothea – you were always good at that - and your kids and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” She shoved him away and almost ran down the hallway and out the back door.

“Nica!” Jon started to follow her.

“Let her go Jon.” Richie grabbed his arm. He’d followed Jon into the hallway and had heard her outburst. “I think you’ve done enough.”


Veronica stood gripping the metal bars that surrounded the stairs and landing outside the back door, tears streaming down her face, fighting back her sobs. At the sound of the door opening behind her she turned ready to snarl at Jon, only to see Richie.

“Easy little girl, it’s just me.” He studied her face, then opened his arms. She flowed into them, held on tight and let her emotions loose. He held her, rested his cheek on the top of her head, stroked her hair with one hand and rubbed the other up and down her back.

When her tears subsided, she still didn’t let go. “Why is he doing this to me Rich?”

He sighed. “I’m not really sure. I think he’s feeling really bad about how he treated you.” He hesitated. “Dot left him. She said she was tired of the family always coming last in his life. I think it’s got him thinking.”

“So to ease his conscience he tracks me down, determined to make me relive the worst time of my life? Just so that he can say he’s sorry? Is that what you’re saying?”

Richie winced. “I don’t know for sure, but yeah, that’s my read on it. Something like that.” He squeezed her. “I’m sorry about what he’s putting you through, but I’m not sorry he dragged us down here. I’ve always wondered what happened to you. You just fell off the map after....well, after. I’m really glad he found you.”

She leaned back and smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you too Rich.”