Chapter 54

Arriving back at the hotel, for once Veronica didn’t worry about appearances and let Jon hold her hand all the way up to their rooms. She knew that he needed the contact, and if she was being honest, so did she.

When they reached their rooms and she pulled her hand from his and searched for her key, he frowned. “Nica...” He didn’t know how to voice what he wanted. He didn’t want to be around a lot of people, but he didn’t want to be alone either.

Veronica smiled gently. “Open the door. I’ll be in in a few minutes.”

He nodded, relieved and entered his own room. Inside, he kicked off his boots, shrugged out of his coat, dropped it in a chair and immediately went to unlock and open his side of the connecting door. Next he set the little coffee pot to brew to fight off the chill he felt down to his bones. The pain, guilt, sorrow, regret and self disgust swirling around in his head made it impossible for him to sit still, so he paced the room. He was standing at the window staring blindly at the snow covered trees, watching the traffic jostling for position on the slick street below when the snick of the lock heralded Veronica’s arrival. Jon turned his head to watch her enter his room. She’d changed into her sweats – and that damn man’s sweatshirt. This time I’ll find out who that belonged to! As she approached, he noticed that she held a small plastic bag in her hand, like he’d seen in upscale jewellery stores that held unset gems. He couldn’t make out what was in this one.

Veronica stopped beside him, her eyes searching his. He could see his own emotional turmoil echoed in the violet depths.

“Nica.” He whispered, lifting one hand to caress her cheek.

She looked down at the tiny bag in her hand, blew out a trembling breath and held it out to him. “Here.”

Inside were several strands of short, fine hair. His chest constricted and his breath caught as he realized what he was looking at...his son’s hair. She’d kept it as a memento and now she was giving it to him. But he couldn’t take that away from her when he’d already hurt her so much. “I can’t take that from you.”

One corner of her mouth lifted into a semblance of a smile at his consideration. “I kept some for myself, but I thought you might......you deserve to have some too.”

The hand that rose to take the bag was shaking. He stared at the only link to their son that they had left for long moments, then closed his hand around it. Sorrow filled blue eyes raised to hers and he pulled her into his arms, one hand burying in her hair, his face in her neck. “Thank you.”

After a moment, Veronica’s arms slid around him and held him tight, both of them finally letting down the barriers and allowing themselves to share their grief over the loss of their child.

Gradually, Jon’s hug softened, becoming more cradling than restraining. She shivered when his mouth nuzzled her neck and made its way up to her ear. “Jon...”

“Don’t push me away Nica. Please! I need to feel. I need...you.” His mouth slid along her jaw to sip at her lips. “Please Nica!”

Telling herself that it was only fair, he’d comforted her in Vancouver when she needed it, Veronica surrendered. That she just might need the reminder that they were alive as much as he did was something she wasn’t prepared to even consider.

When her lips softened and parted under his Jon took full advantage, tilting his head more to make the kiss as deep as he could, tongue stroking hers. He felt her hands slip from his back and he was afraid that she’d changed her mind and was going to push him away, but relaxed as she slid them up his chest to twine her arms around his neck and bury one hand in his hair. Slow sweeps of his hands down her back urged her even closer.

The heat rose between them as their passion increased in leaps and bounds. It wasn’t long before they needed more. His arms tightened around her and he lifted her off the floor and walked to the bed, setting her down beside it. He set the little bag carefully on the bedside table and swept back the covers on the bed before turning back to her. Calloused fingertips gently traced her eyebrows, cheek bones and jawline. “So beautiful.”

“Johnny.” Her whisper was as quiet as his had been.

He touched his lips to hers to taste his name on her lips. “Nica.”

Silently, reverently, they undressed each other. When they were both naked Jon picked her up and laid her in the middle of the bed, stretching out beside her and reaching out to caress her.

Her eyes closed as his hand swept her torso setting her skin on fire. He spent long minutes on her breasts, stroking the soft flesh, cupping and weighing each plump mound. Two fingers rubbed where creamy pale skin met dark pink over and over, round and round until her nipples had hardened and lengthened. Leaning over, he licked and kissed and nibbled the stiff peaks.

“Johnny!” Veronica slid her hands into his hair and tugged him closer, her back arching.

Chuckling, he obliged, closing his lips around her sensitive flesh and suckling – gently at first, then harder. His hand coasted over her stomach, noting the contraction of the muscles at his touch, to cup the warm mound at the juncture of her thighs. Instantly her hips lifted towards him, asking for more. The two fingers that had teased her nipples now teased her most female flesh, stretching her gently, massaging the humid tissue. Her hips moved to the rhythm of his fingers, soft moans purring in her throat.

As much as he ached to bury himself deep inside her, he held off. He’d caused her so much pain he was determined to show her that he could bring her intense pleasure as well. Blue eyes lifted to survey her face as he continued to suck her nipples and stroke her intimately. His thumb came up to rub her swollen clit and he watched ecstasy consume her.

Barely letting her tremors subside, he released her nipple and slid his open mouth over her stomach, spread her thighs wide and settled between them. Gentle fingers held back her swollen folds, opening her to his gaze....and his mouth. His tongue became an erotic weapon and he wielded it with devastating results, using long strokes and quick flicks to drive her insane. Three times she came close to the edge, and three times he backed off and wouldn’t let her fly. Her fingers clenched in his hair and she growled low in her throat in frustration – and warning. Chuckling, he glanced up to meet her glowing amethyst gaze. “Now?” She nodded. He licked her bud delicately. “You sure?” She growled again and tugged on his hair. He chuckled again, then gave her what she wanted. His lips closed around her clit and he suckled in rhythm with his stroking tongue and sent her soaring. She screamed.

Veronica lay with her eyes closed, panting, still trembling and felt him slide up her body. He paused to kiss and nuzzle her breasts before moving up to kiss and nuzzle her neck. Flexing his hips, he slowly buried himself inside her. They both groaned. Jon held still for a long moment, savouring the feel of her hot, moist flesh pulsing around him, her hands stroking his back. Then he started to move, thrusting slowly and gently.

“Johnny.” Veronica moaned softly.

“Nica.” He answered, his tongue tracing her ear.

He wanted to be generous and considerate and all those things that a good lover should be, but that kind of control was beyond him at the moment. In fact, he was hanging on to what little he had left by the thinnest of threads. He thrust deeper and the bite of her nails raking his back snapped the thread. Groaning, he let go and lost himself in her scent surrounding him, her silky skin beneath him, and the taste of her on his lips and tongue. Over and over he penetrated her willing body, barely noticing each time she climaxed, intent only on his own need to feel alive and drown the grief in pleasure, if only for a little while.

Gradually, he became aware of her shaking uncontrollably, her arms splayed out to the side with no strength left to even hold him, her cries reduced to whimpers. Thrusting even deeper he drove her into yet another orgasm, this time going over the edge with her.

When he could move again, he slid from her body, reached down to pull up the blankets, then settled half on her again, his head on her breast, one arm curled around her. “Are you okay?”

“Mmmmhmmm.”

“I know I was out of control. I’m sorry if I....hurt you.”

Her arms lifted, one to stroke his arm, the other to play with his hair. “It’s okay Jon. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.” Not by a long shot...although I think you almost killed me!

Exhausted, they dozed off.